Sunday, 3 November 2013

Angel Eyes- Diary of a submissive - Sunday 20th October (next page)

I was feeling weak at the knees, good thing I was sitting down...... although if 'overmyknee' had his way I wouldn't be able to sit down!

"Yes, Sir."

"Good girl :)"

I was blushing furiously now, not knowing what to say next, but I did still have lots of questions. "May I ask you more questions please, Sir?"

"Of course, anything you like."

"How long have you been into BDSM?"

"Do you mean interested, or practising?"

"Both really."

"I've been interested in it ever since I can remember, there were references to spanking and corporal punishment in quite a few books when I was a child, and the idea of it always turned me on. I've been practising it for about 14 years though."

"Yes I know what you mean, I sometimes used to read it in books and it always gave me a 'tingle', but it seemed very taboo back then."

"Which begs the obvious question, my dear, how old are you?"

Uh oh, a personal question. What to do? Be honest, after all no harm can come from it. "I'm 29,Sir."

"I see, so yes it would have been very taboo when you were a young girl, corporal punishment was definitely on the way out, and quite right too, and the BDSM side of things was hardly mentioned. Fortunately times have changed and people are able to pursue their interest in all things bondage and spanking"

"Hooray to that!" I typed with a cheer.

"Ha ha, hooray indeed!"

I was beginning to feel bold again. "So, you know how old I am......!"

"True, I do."

Argh he was going to make me work for this. "Can I ask how old you are?"

"You can ask, but you have to do it properly!"

Oh heck. "Can I ask how old you are please, Sir?"

"That's better, remember you'll earn you a trip over my knee of you're not careful."

TINGLE! "Sorry, Sir."

"I'm 32."

Wow and I thought he seemed so much older than that. I was thrown. "Only a few years older than me then?"

"Yes, does that bother you?"

"No not at all, I was just expecting you to be older."


"Well, you sound so grown up and mature."

"Is that a compliment?"

"Yes certainly, don't get me wrong but most men of your age seem pretty clueless and immature."

"Then I'm glad I'm not one of them! Seriously though with my past time it's essential to be mature and sensible."

OK so I'd not thought of it like that before, and it made so much sense. "Yes of course it is."

"Dominance is about being in charge, not just in charge of your submissive, but also yourself."

"Yes, I'm beginning to realise that, you have to be able to control yourself so your submissive can trust you."

"Exactly, and without trust you have nothing."

I thought about my own life, the lack of trust I've always had. "I can't imagine being able to trust someone enough to let them do things to you."

"It can happen, I assure you. Trust me."

Was there a double meaning in that? Was it an invitation or just a statement?? It was all beginning to feel very intense, but the thing was, for some strange reason, I did trust him. "I believe you, Sir."

"Good girl..... may I call you Angel?"

That made me smile. "Yes of course :)."

"I'm assuming it's not your real name, but I like it, and I totally understand you wanting to remain anonymous."

My smile broadened. "Thank you, Sir, I appreciate that."

"Well, Angel, unfortunately I have to go now, I'm off on a business trip tomorrow and I have to prepare."

He was going! Oh no!!  "I totally understand, and I've kept you a long time."

"Not in the least, it's been a real pleasure, and I'll certainly be in touch when I return. Send me any more question you might have and I'll answer them for you."

"Thank you, Sir."
"Before I go I am going to suggest something to you though."

Oh heck, my heart leapt into my throat, what was coming? "OK?"
"I have a friend who's heavily into BDSM, I had a chat with her about you and she's very happy to email you and share her experiences."

He's been chatting about me?? Eeek! Although...... a female perspective, this could be very interesting. "That's very kind of you, thank you. Do you know her well?"

"Yes I know her extremely well, she was my submissive  for over 6 months."

My jaw dropped. Wow, he was going to put me in touch with a former sub, this was amazing and an opportunity not to be missed. "Wow it would be brilliant to chat with her. You're sure she won't mind?"

"If she does I'll cane her!"

Whoa was he serious? "And she'd love it, right?"

 "Indeed she would! Her email address is-  -and you've probably worked out that her name is Lizzy."

"I did wonder lol. Thank you so much for the info, I will get in touch with her." Oh no, I suddenly remembered that my email address uses my real name.

"Good, and if you're worried about anonymity then just set up a new email account with a fake name, maybe angeleyes :) and email her from there."

Now that was spooky, he must be psychic! "That's a really good idea, thank you, Sir."

"My pleasure, now I really must go, but don't forget to send me any questions as you think of them, it'll give me something to look forward to when I get back."

"I will, thank you, and I hope you have a good trip."

"Thank  you. Bye for now, Angel."

"Bye, bye, Sir."

Wow, I felt so excited and elated. When I'd joined FFJ I'd hoped to gain a small insight into the  wonderful world of BDSM, but this was beyond my wildest dreams, not only was I chatting with a real life dominant, I now have the chance to chat with a submissive!

Time to create that new email account me thinks!  :) .....

Friday, 25 October 2013

Angel Eyes- Diary of a submissive - Sunday 20th October

Dear diary

Wow I was up unnaturally early today, I'd normally have a long Sunday morning lie it, but I was too excited to see if I'd had a reply from 'overmyknee'..... OMG even the name is enough to make me tingle!

I logged in to FFJ while the kettle was boiling, and there was a message! Imagine my disappointment when I found out it was from 'mrwhippy', it read- "hey mistress, how about hooking up so we can be naughty?" I decided to just delete that one!

I had my 2 coffee's to wake myself up properly, then caught up on some much needed chores, using all my willpower to stay off the Internet. I did the vacuuming, dusting, put the laundry on... it sounds a lot but my little bedsit doesn't really take long to spruce up... then by 11am I could wait no longer. I checked into FFJ again and found another message...this one was from him! My heart did that leaping about thing as I read it-
"That's a very good question, Angel Eyes, and something I'd not really thought about before. I'm sure it's different for everyone, but for me it gives a great sense of power and control. This only works when I have the right sort of lady to dominate though."

"What do you mean, the right sort of lady?"

"She must be over 21, sensible and well educated, have long hair and above all be obedient with a hint of rebellion. She doesn't have to be thin or athletic, although she has to be fit enough to cope with bondage and role play."

I read it through a few times, and had to ask the question. "Why long hair?"

"Because, young lady, I like to pull naughty lady's by their hair, especially while I'm spanking them over my knee!"

Oh my! I felt a tingling in my lady parts and couldn't help clenching my butt cheeks. What do I say now? Just keep it going I told myself. "Oh I see, so short haired ladies are out then?"

"Haha, yes my dear, but if their hair is too short they can always come back to me when it's grown long enough."

I had to laugh at that. "At least I know there's hope for me then :)" As soon as I pressed send I kicked myself. What on earth did I say that for?

"So, you'd like to be my submissive would you?"

Eeek, my mind began racing, what had I done! Calm down woman! "I think it would be a lot of fun, so yes, maybe someday I would like to be your submissive :)" Note to self, get your blood pressure checked!

"And I'm sure you'd make a wonderful submissive."

"Really? Thank you."

"Yes really, but I wonder if you could be naughty too?"

"Oh I know I can be naughty." Did I just admit that? I really need to stop and think before I type!!

"In that case, Angel Eyes, you need a good spanking."

Ohhhhh, tingle time again. "Do I?"

"Yes, definitely."

I thought I was going to explode. Did I have the nerve to ask? It seems I did. Well here goes I thought to myself! "And, how would you go about that?"  My heart raced as I anticipated his reply, and it seemed to take forever.

"Under normal circumstances you would be naked, but as you're new to this, and I'm a gentleman, I would let you keep your bra and panties on. Firstly, I would have you kneel in front of me with your hands on your head. I would lecture you on your naughty behaviour and make you ask to be punished for it. I would tell you that you are bad girl, and that I'm going to give you a good spanking. Then I would take you across my left knee, making sure your bottom was raised to the correct position, then I would place my right leg across your legs to hold you in place and stop you kicking. After making sure you were comfortable I would begin spanking your bottom, softly at first, then I would gradually increase the force, allowing the heat to build up. Eventually I would be spanking you soundly, turning your cheeks a nice rosy pink. As you squeal and writhe I would hold you more firmly, to ensure you can't escape, then there would be a short pause while I pull down your panties. Despite your protests I would continue spanking you on your bare bottom until I believed you'd learnt your lesson. By the time I finish your bottom would be a nice crimson and you would be sobbing, thoroughly chastised and repentant. I would keep you across my knee, rubbing your sore cheeks and telling you all is forgiven, then I would lift you up and hold you in my arms to soothe you and let you know you'd done well to accept your punishment."

My mouth was gaping, I could hardly breathe, and my right hand was inside my jogging bottoms working eagerly at my clitoris. In a matter of seconds I had worked myself to a massive orgasm, then had several more in close succession. OMG what an enormous turn on! My hand was wet with my own juice and I had to dry it before typing my reply. But what to say? It was obvious. "Wow that sounds wonderful!" I could imagine him smiling now.

"Enjoy that did you?"

"Oh yes, definitely."

"Yes what?"

Oh my goodness, I knew what that meant but I don't know how. "Yes, Sir."

"That's better, remember that in future, young lady or that spanking will become a reality!"

Oh I do hope so :)

Tuesday, 22 October 2013

Angel Eyes- Diary of a submissive- Saturday 19th October 2013

Dear Diary

It's Saturday at last. I'd normally have spent the day shopping and drinking with my friends, but I was so excited about browsing FFJ that I cried off with a 'headache'! I was up unnaturally early, made myself a huge cappuccino, then got straight onto the Internet.

I logged into FFJ and my heart skipped a beat, there in the top right hand corner was an envelope icon with the number 3 next to it, I had received messages! I was really nervous as I clicked on them, but my curiosity and excitement far outweighed my nerves.

The first message was from someone called flogmaster, it read- "welcome to the site, I hope you have fun here, and I hope I get the chance to flog you one day!" That made me smile of course.

The second message was from someone called 'smackman', it read- "If ever you desire to be bound, gagged, spanked and fucked let me know ;)" Interesting huh!

And the third message was from someone called 'overmyknee', it read- "Hello angel Eyes, so you'd like to know how it feels would you?". For some strange reason this message sent a tingle running through me, perhaps it was the username? :)

I spent a while looking through the chats and stories, then clicked on a few links, but I kept coming back to that message.

Should I reply?

Would that be inviting too much attention?

But then, they would have no idea who I am or where I live, so what would be the harm.

If it got too intense I always had the option to block them.

It was about 4 hours later when I finally plucked up the courage to type-. "Hello, 'overmyknee, yes I would like to know how it feels." I pressed send and had a grin to myself, I got up to go and make another coffee when I heard a 'ping', it stopped me in my tracks and I turned to look at my PC screen, OMG I had received a reply..... already?!!
My heart began to race.
I tentatively clicked on the message box, it read- "Feel free to ask any questions you like." I smiled broadly to myself, both pleased and relieved.
This was my first opportunity to ask about BDSM and all things related to it. But where do I start? I have so many questions! But they did say to feel free, so I started with the obvious and we began chatting.

"Do you practice BDSM?"
"Yes, I do. It's a professional hobby of mine."
"Wow. And are you dominant or submissive?"
Ooh! "May I ask if you're male or female?"
"Male. I assume you are female?"
"Yes I am."
"And you're shy about all this."
That took me by surprise. "Yes I am, how did you know?"
"I read your profile."
Duh! Time to rescue the situation. "I'm flattered that you took the time to read it."
"And I'm flattered to be chatting with you now."
"Thank you."
"So, what else would you like to know, Angel Eyes?"
He used my name again :) "Well, I have so many questions really, like how you find people to do BDSM with?"
"That's the easy part, there are a lot of people who like to 'play', the difficult part is finding the right one, but I usually go through sites like this one to find someone who suits my style."

"Yes, my style of play. I am quite specific."
"In what way?"
I was so curious now I forgot all about being shy.
"For a start I only play with ladies, who must be aged over 21. I start every session with an over the knee spanking. I'm very traditional and don't use any of the more modern BDSM methods, such as those involving bodily functions or suffocation, hot wax, electrodes etc..."
Over the knee spanking! Tingle time!! I was fascinated. "I must admit your way sounds much better, I've seen clips with electrodes or piercing and couldn't watch them, it's too much for me."
"You really are curious aren't you."
"Yes, very."
"Well, as I said, any questions feel free to ask. I have to go offline for a while now, but send me a message if you like and I'll read it tomorrow."

Oh no! He was going offline!! Darn it!!! "OK, well thank you so much for chatting to me."
"My pleasure. Goodnight, Angel Eyes."


And that was the end of our chat. I felt elated and disappointed all in one.
I was so glad to have asked about BDSM, but wish it had lasted longer. Oh well, maybe he will chat with me again. I really hope so.
Before logging off I did send another message. It read- "Thank you so much again for chatting with me, I would really like to know something else, how does it feel when you dominate someone?"

I eagerly await the answer...

Friday, 18 October 2013

Angel Eyes- Diary of a submissive- Friday 18th October 2013..... addition...

OK so I had to create a profile on Fantastic Fetish Journey....  FFJ for short, I didn't want to put anything personal about myself for obvious reasons, but I thought it might be a good idea to explain why I joined, so I wrote this.......

For years I've dreamt about exploring my lifelong fascination with submission and discipline, but I've been far too shy and nervous.
At first I was sure if I tried looking it up online the police would arrive on my doorstep and confiscate my laptop. Silly I know, but it's such a taboo subject.

Of course curiosity is relentless so I did eventually reason with my subconscious and start exploring, first I just looked up spanking, that produced millions of results! Then as the weeks went on I began watching videos and reading blogs.
I started searching for more about dominants and submissives or BDSM as it's called, and I soon realised that's what turned me on the most. I loved seeing a young woman being tethered to a large wooden cross, then being spanked, flogged, and intimately played with, it led to many happy private moments :) 
I wanted to know more about it but didn't know where to start, and shyness still got in my way. Then, one day, I was browsing a video site and spotted a link to another website... this one... and I decided to check it out. I was disappointed when I realised it was members only as I had no intention of giving my details to a 'naughty' site, but I kept thinking about it and eventually decided to go for it.
I had a couple of vodkas to give me courage, then I joined up!
So here I am, and I love this site.
I'm really only here to find out more about it, but in time I'd like to chat with people that actually do it and find out how it feels...... :)

I'm hoping that will be ok and people won't think I'm crazy!

Angel Eyes- Diary of a submissive- Friday 18th October 2013

Dear Diary

Yeah I know, I've had you for months and haven't written anything since my new years resolution (part of which was to make an entry every day....ooops) but you know how it is, you get distracted, have things on your mind....... anyway I fetched you out from the back of a draw as I need to tell you something!

Remember my new years resolution?..... 1st January 2013- I promise myself I will make a change in my life and do something exciting, something totally different, unconventional, perhaps dangerous and more than a bit scary!

Well I made a huge step towards that today.... I finally plucked up the courage to join a fetish Web site!
I found it quite by accident while looking through a video sharing site, you know, one of the naughty ones. It's called Fantastic Fetish Journey and is perfect for those wanting to find out more and learn all about it.

My heart was racing as I entered the web address on Google of course, and as I subscribed to be a member I was trembling so much I had to enter my password twice!

But I did it!

It seems like a great site with chat rooms, blogs and links to online fetish stores etc, so I'm going to take my time looking through all the messages and links.
I did have a quick read through of some of the chat threads and was amazed at how openly members discuss "that thing they do".

I wonder if I'll ever have the courage to join in with a chat?

Oh by the way, my username is Angel Eyes, and my password is...... vanilla ;)